After graduating from college in 2018 there was a feeling of uncertainty that took over. I felt like a child that had been kicked into the deep end of a public pool with slightly deflated floats. My lease was up and I was traveling more than usual and as a result I felt the least centered I had felt in a long time.

I started this series as a way to reflect on my life and vent the frustration I had with my lack of sense of direction. Similar to how I felt life doesn’t give much direction I didn’t want to impose any direction on these drawings. A lot of one’s life is spent figuring things out as one goes along; as such I wanted to approach these drawings with the same mindset. When it comes to drawing, I am more acquainted with graphite, but I chose to use charcoal for its less tamed nature and how quickly one can flesh ideas out with the medium. The ability to quickly get the idea on the page left me less time to overthinking what I was doing. The images that ended up on the page were knee-jerk reactions to my reflections on my own life as well as inspired by the  environment and situations I found myself surrounded by at the time. 
I believe the location in which the pieces were made is part of the story. Places include, Grand Rapids, Bull Bay, Gibraltar and Los Angeles. Though these drawings are reflections, they also embody concepts from classical art, modern day memes and phrases that were said over a game of french dominoes.

These are 9 of the drawings I worked on during this time.
- Joshua 

I contemplated upon German Renaissance artist Albrecht Dürer's approach to a self portrait and how very deliberately he likened himself to Christ. Dürer in his 1500 self portrait at age 28 could easily be confused with a portrait of white Jesus at a glance. At the time this was a controversial approach simply because likening one's self to God was perceived as blasphemy. But to his defense, according to the Bible we are made in the image of God, so why not liken oneself to them?
This piece is definitely not as flattering nor as representative as Dürer's as I went in a different direction. The idea that the ones who crucified Christ were also made in the image of God is indicative of our self destructive nature. We betray ourselves and our best intentions for varying reasons, but often due to fear. I wrote the name “Jesus Iscariot” on the head, and my own name in the negative space to serve as a label though it would appear to be a signature. The aggressively erased "crown" was done as opposed to a carefully rendered one lends itself to the ideas of self destruction.
This piece was done in my mother's back yard.
Granny rahtid.
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